


A Christmas Miracle

by AylahGrace



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Reporter Jensen Ackles, Teacher Jared Padalecki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27864698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AylahGrace/pseuds/AylahGrace
Summary: Their inability to conceive puts a strain on Jensen and Jared's marriage. Things take a turn for the worse during the holidays and they drift even further apart. Will a Christmas miracle save their relationship or is it too late already?
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 43
Kudos: 213





	1. Chapter 1

Jensen stifles a yawn when he makes a left turn and pulls into the street he and his husband live on. It’s almost fully dark already and the colorful Christmas lights their neighbors have put up are on full display. They’re shining, blinking, twinkling and flashing. It’s beautiful.

Distracted by the festive décor, Jensen almost misses the white Toyota Camry already parked in their driveway. He hits the breaks a little too hard and winces when some of the shopping bags he piled onto the passenger seat topple over. He hears something break and hopes it’s not the expensive, hand painted tea set he bought as a Christmas present for his mother-in-law.

Surprised to see Jared’s car sitting at home already, Jensen parks his Chevy next to it and turns off the engine. Just this morning, Jared had told him that he would be going out for drinks with Chad tonight, which is why Jensen had taken his time at the mall and didn’t rush home.

Grabbing the dozens of bags and gifts he got for their families and friends, Jensen just barely manages to close and lock the car door without dropping anything. Some of the smaller boxes wobble precariously as he walks to their front door and he bites his lip when one of them begins to slide off the pile. Jared always laughs at him for refusing to make two trips to unload the car, but he’s just that lazy.

Without breaking or losing anything, Jensen makes it up the three steps and gets the front door unlocked. He’s barely through the door when Arlo, their overactive two-year old golden retriever, comes bouncing down the stairs to greet him. Jensen toes off his boots by the entrance, switches on the lights with his elbow and carries the Christmas presents to the living room. He almost stumbles over Arlo, who’s eagerly awaiting his _“welcome home belly rubs”_.

“Jare, babe, you home?” Jensen calls up the stairs when he doesn’t hear anything. The entire lower level of the house is dark and quiet, which means Jared is either upstairs or not home at all. It might be possible that he dropped off his car at home before heading out with Chad.

After dumping the bags, neatly wrapped gifts and boxes underneath the small, yet charming, Christmas tree Jared insisted on getting, and saying hello to their excited fur baby, Jensen heads upstairs. He peeks into their shared office, which is just as empty as the first floor.

At this point, Jensen is pretty sure that he’s home alone, but then Arlo trots past him and makes a beeline for the master’s bedroom at the end of the hall. Smiling, Jensen follows. The only time Arlo ever goes in there is when at least one of them is in the bedroom as well. Otherwise, he prefers to sleep underneath the large desk in their office or in his doggy bed downstairs.

Pushing the door all the way open, Jensen squints into the room. No light is on, but thanks to the Christmas lights that shine through the curtains, he can see someone lying in bed. Jensen frowns. It might be dark already, but it’s not even eight o’clock yet and Jared rarely goes to bed before ten-thirty.

Quietly, he walks to Jared’s side of the bed and sits down. His husband is curled up on his side and has the blanket pulled up all the way to his neck. Smiling fondly, Jensen runs his fingers through Jared’s long hair. “Jare?” he whispers quietly and leans down to kiss his lips. “You awake?”

Jared slowly opens his eyes and looks up at Jensen. “Hey,” he says, voice sounding husky. He clears his throat. “What time is it?”

“Almost eight,” Jensen replies. He brushes the back of his hand over his husband’s forehead, but he doesn’t feel overly warm. “I thought you were going out with Chad tonight?”

Jared sighs and leans into the touch. “I’m not feeling well.”

Jensen winces. From what he’s heard from his husband, there’s a pretty nasty bug going around the school where Jared teaches. Almost half the staff and a lot of the kids have come down with it.

“Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?” Jensen asks and mentally goes through everything they’ve got in their medicine cabinet. If Jared really is getting sick, then he definitely needs to go get a couple of things from the pharmacy. They’re running low on pretty much everything.

Jared shakes his head and closes his eyes. “No. I’m just really tired.”

Brushing Jared’s bangs off his forehead, Jensen nods. “Get some sleep. Yell if you need anything, alright? I’ll be downstairs.”

He’s already gotten back to his feet and is halfway across the room when Jared murmurs, “I took another pregnancy test today.”

The softly spoken words make Jensen pause. He briefly closes his eyes. Everything suddenly makes sense.

He slowly turns around to face his husband again. The hurt and dejection in Jared’s eyes feels like a stab to the heart. It’s something he’s never going to get used to, no matter how many times they’ve been through this already.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen says quietly and sits back down on the edge of the bed. He reaches for Jared’s hand and squeezes it tightly. “Why didn’t you call me? I would have come home.”

Jared snorts and pulls his hand out of Jensen’s grasps. The rejection stings. “I can’t expect you to rush home every time I take a test and get a negative result. This isn’t the first negative one and it won’t be the last.”

“We’re in this together, Jare. You’re not alone,” Jensen reminds him. He knows the bitterness is coming from a place of hurt. Jared is hurting. They’ve been trying to conceive for almost two years now and it just doesn’t happen for them. With every pregnancy test that comes back negative, a part of Jared appears to fade away. It breaks Jensen’s heart, but there’s absolutely nothing he can do, which makes him feel so incredibly helpless and useless.

“Babe—”

Jared closes his eyes, shutting Jensen out. “I’m tired, Jen.”

Jensen nods, even though his husband can’t see it. He slowly gets back to his feet and leaves their bedroom. His heart is aching for Jared, but he doesn’t know what to do or how to help. They’ve visited half a dozen doctors, but none of them was able to pinpoint the issue that prevents Jared from getting pregnant. They’ve both been subjected to numerous tests, but everything seems to be working just how it’s supposed to. Nothing is out of the ordinary, which makes the situation even more frustrating.

As much as Jensen wants to be there for his husband, he simply doesn’t know what to do anymore. Things between them are often tense when the topic is brought up and Jared seems to withdraw a little bit further with every negative pregnancy test. Sometimes, Jensen feels like he’s losing him and there’s not a damn thing he can do about it, because the one thing he knows Jared wants more than anything, he can’t give him.

Arlo whines softly where he’s lying in the hallway and Jensen looks down at him. It’s almost as if he senses that something is wrong. Jensen smiles sadly. “Come on, boy. Let’s go for a walk.”

Heading downstairs, Jensen grabs his jacket and boots and puts both on. He stuffs his phone and wallet in a pocket and then kneels down to put a leash on Arlo. The dog is wagging his tail happily and jumps from one paw to the other.

Jensen smiles and scratches him behind the ear. “Let’s go get Jared something to eat, what do you say?” he asks Arlo, who’s only response is a loud bark.

Chuckling, Jensen opens the door and steps outside into the chilly night. Together with Arlo, he heads down the street toward _Mario’s Bistro_. The Italian restaurant makes the best spaghetti with meatballs, which just so happens to be Jared’s favorite dish.

There might be nothing Jensen can do about the negative pregnancy test, but what he _can_ do is make sure his husband eats and takes care of himself. And that’s something he will never stop doing, because when he married Jared three years ago, he swore to be there for him. Through the good, the bad and the ugly.

And he’s vowed to honor that promise until the day he dies.


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days are difficult, like they usually are after Jared takes a pregnancy test. Jensen feels like he’s walking on eggshells around his husband, because even the tiniest thing can set him off and cause a huge fight.

If they’re not arguing, they’re ignoring each other. In the mornings, Jensen wakes up before Jared and gets ready for work. He tries to be as quiet as possible, even though he knows that Jared is awake and just waiting for him to leave. Being shut out hurts, but, over time, Jensen has come to accept it. In the past, he’s tried to push his way back in, but that only caused more tension. He’s learned to give Jared his space and wait for him to come around.

Two weeks before Christmas, the company Jensen works for hosts its annual Christmas party. Jensen loves his job. He’s always wanted to be a sports reporter and joining Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s firm has been the best decision he’s ever made career vise. Jeff is a fantastic boss and some of his coworkers have become really good friends over the years.

Jensen is buttoning up his crisp, white shirt when the bathroom door opens and Jared steps out, still dripping wet and dressed in only a towel. Jensen’s eyes instantly travel down his muscular torso and he feels heat pool low in his belly.

“See something you like?” Jared teases with a smug smirk.

Leaving his shirt unbuttoned, Jensen takes a few steps forward into his husband’s personal space. “Yeah,” he says and pulls Jared down for a kiss. He feels Jared smile against his lips, before he wraps his arms around Jensen’s waist and nudges him backward until his knees hit the edge of the bed. They fall onto the mattress and Jensen grunts when his taller, and _heavier_ , husband lands on top of him.

“We need to get ready…” Jensen breathes against Jared’s mouth, even though he has no intention to stop what they’re doing. Jared just chuckles and ducks his head to suck on Jensen’s throat.

As much as Jensen hates being late, this is more important. It’s the first time they’re intimate with each other in almost a week. The last negative pregnancy test was really hard on Jared, which is why he avoided touching and sometimes even _looking_ at Jensen.

This, now, feeling his husband’s warm weight on top of him, sharing this private and familiar moment together, is perfect.

When they’re driving to Jensen’s office an hour later, Jared is cheerful and happy, which in return relaxes Jensen. Reaching over, he grabs his husband’s hand and intertwines their fingers. When Jared squeezes his hand, Jensen gives him a smile.

They’re not the last ones to arrive at Morgan Corp., but the large, festively decorated room is already pretty crowded. Some of the people there Jensen has never even seen before.

A server walks over to them with a tray and they each take a glass of champagne. It’s the really expensive kind and Jensen hums after taking a sip. He’s usually more a beer kind of guy, but he does appreciate the fancy stuff on occasion.

“Jensen, Jared,” a voice says and they turn around. Jeff is smiling at them, dressed in a suit that probably costs more than Jensen makes in a month. “Good to see you both.”

“Jeff, it’s been a while,” Jared says and shakes the older man’s hand.

“It has, hasn’t it?” Jeff chuckles. “Tell me, how are the kids?”

Jensen winces at the question. He knows that Jeff is talking about Jared’s students and that he has no idea how much more meaningful and deeper that question is. At work, Jensen doesn’t really talk about the fertility struggles he and his husband are facing. At least not with his boss.

However, Jared just smiles politely. “They’re good. Keeping my busy.”

Before any more questions about kids can be asked, a gorgeous woman in a stunning green dress appears at Jeff’s side. Jeff instantly wraps his arm around her slim waist. “Jared, you remember my wife, Hilarie?”

“Of course,” Jared smiles and shakes her hand. “Nice to see you again.”

Hilarie is Jeff’s third wife. They got married about a year ago in Fiji and the entire office, including their significant others, was invited. It was a big deal and the whole thing probably cost a fortune.

Jeff grabs Jensen’s shoulder. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet, Jensen; Jim Beaver. He saw your last segment about the Dallas Cowboys and is very interested in a collaboration.”

Jensen glances at his husband. Jim Beaver is a big name in the industry and he would be stupid if he’d turn down the chance to meet the man. However, he doesn’t want to leave Jared all by himself in a room full of people he doesn’t know. He knows some of Jensen’s close friends, but Jensen hasn’t been able to spot any of them yet. Chris is probably running late—as always—and he assumes Danneel is close to one of the open bars, surrounded by men.

Before Jensen can make up his mind, Hilarie hooks her arm through Jared’s and smiles. “Go. I’ll take good care of that cute husband of yours, I promise.”

Jensen looks over at Jared to gauge his reaction. “I’ll be fine,” Jared smiles, giving him the permission he indirectly asked for.

“Excellent,” Jeff nods and quickly shepherds Jensen toward a group of people on the other side of the room.

Jensen loses track of time while talking to Beaver and his people. While he was nervous at first, Jim—as he introduced himself—quickly made him feel at ease and Jensen was able to relax. They’ve been talking for a while, sharing stories and visions, when someone tugs on Jensen’s sleeve. When he turns around, he sees Chris.

“Hey, man, when did you get here?” he asks with a smile. “Haven’t seen you yet.”

Chris smiles, but it looks forced. He briefly glances at the other people and then leans more into Jensen’s space. “Can I burrow you for a minute?”

Confused about his friend’s odd behavior, Jensen frowns. “Chris, man, can’t it wait? I’m in the middle of—”

Chris’ fingers tighten around his arm. “No, it can’t.”

There’s something in his voice that sets off alarm bells in Jensen’s mind. Chris is usually a pretty laidback and easy-going guy, but he’s definitely on edge right now.

Giving him a nod, Jensen puts down his glass on one of the high tables and smiles at Beaver. “If you excuse me for just one moment, I will be right back.”

Jeff doesn’t look too happy when Jensen leaves, but he’ll apologize later. Something is up.

They’re halfway across the room when Jensen snags Chris’ sleeve. “Dude, what the hell is going…” his voice trails off when they approach another corner of the room. Surrounded by other guests, all of which have taken an uncomfortable step back, is Jared. He’s swaying on his feet, clearly drunk, slurring something about how fucked up Christmas is. The drink in his hand keeps sloshing over, dripping over his hand and onto the floor. He doesn’t even seem to notice. There’s a huge stain on his white dress shirt and his formerly nicely styles hair is a mess. _Jared_ is a mess.

Rooted to the spot in absolute shock, it takes Jensen a few seconds to react to what he’s seeing. When his husband takes a staggering step to the side and almost knocks over one of the Christmas trees, he finally rushes forward. As he steadies Jared, he catches the other people’s horrified stares out of the corner of his eye.

“Jared,” he hisses and forces his husband to look at him. “What the hell are you doing?!”

Jared’s glassy eyes focus on him and he laughs drunkenly. “Look who decided to show up,” he slurs and tries to yank his arm free. “Lemme go, Jensen.”

Instead of letting go, Jensen tightens his grip. His heart is beating a little faster as he tries to control Jared’s flailing limbs. He’s seen his husband drunk before, but never like this. Never this out of control.

“We’re not doing this here,” Jensen growls under his breath when he sees that they’re attracting the attention of even more people. Despite Jared’s increasing struggles, he hauls him across the room and toward the exit. Jared is bitching and swearing up a storm, but Jensen just grits his teeth and keeps going.

When they’re in the lobby, Jared finally manages to wrench his arm free. He takes a faltering step back and almost falls. When Jensen reaches out to steady him, he snarls, “Get off of me!” It feels like a slap to the face and Jensen instinctively backs off. He’s completely out of his depth here.

“Jared, what is going on with you?” he asks carefully. His head is reeling. His husband had been fine when he left him with Hilarie. Jared had said he’d be fine. This is anything _but_ fine.

Jared scoffs. “Did y’know Hilarie’s pregnant? They’re having a baby.”

Jensen tenses. He didn’t know. Is this what all this is about? “Jared…”

“It was an _accident_ , she said,” Jared keeps going, completely ignoring his husband. “They didn’t mean to get pregnant. It just fucking happened!” he sneers as tears begin to pool in his eyes.

Jensen doesn’t know what to say. How is he supposed to react to that? What does Jared expect him to say? That he’s sorry…? He thought Jared was doing better but, apparently, he thought wrong.

“Look, you’re hurting. I get it,” he begins slowly and takes a cautious step forward. “But your behavior back there was not okay.”

Jared laughs, too loud and too fake. “Why? Am I _embarrassing_ you?”

Narrowing his eyes, Jensen crosses his arms over his chest. “No. You’re embarrassing _yourself_.”

Jared’s gaze hardens. “Well, I’m sorry that not _everyone_ can have a working, functioning body. I’m sorry that mine is fucking broken!” he yells, voice echoing through the large lobby.

“Your body is _not_ broken!” Jensen yells back. He wants to grab his husband and shake him, because how could he possibly think that? At the same time, he wants to punch him in the face for acting like a child. “Our plan to start a family is not working out the way we hoped it would and it sucks. It breaks my heart to see you after a negative test. But that doesn’t mean that your body is broken! We’ll just keep trying, and if that doesn’t work, we’ll look into alternatives. We got this, Jare. I’m right here with you.”

“Are you? Because it sure as hell feels like you care more about your stupid job than us.”

The words are sharp like a knife and Jensen feels like he’s been punched in the gut. He knows that Jared is drunk and that it’s just the alcohol speaking, but the accusation _hurts_. He doesn’t work his ass off for himself, he works hard for _their_ future. The future he promised Jared he’d give him.

On the brink of tears himself, Jensen grabs his husband’s arm again and drags him toward the door. “I’m done with this. We’re leaving.”

“No,” Jared hisses. “ _I’m_ leaving. You stay here with your fancy friends.”

“Jared—”

He doesn’t turn back around. He shoves the large glass door open and flags down a cab outside. With a lump in his throat, Jensen watches him climb in and then disappear around the corner. He’s still staring after the car, even after it’s long gone.

Three years ago, when they got married surrounded by all their families and friends, Jensen never thought this day would come. The day where he doesn’t know if they’re going to make it, if their marriage is strong enough. Yet, here they are.

Tears burns in his eyes when he thinks that, maybe, this is it. Maybe this is what is going to tear them apart for good and leave them both in shambles…


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen feels like absolutely crap. Has been feeling that way since their massive argument at the office Christmas party. When Jensen had come home an hour after Jared had stormed off, he had holed up in their guest bedroom with the door locked. The next morning, Jensen tried to talk to him but Jared refused. Instead, he packed a bag and mumbled something about going to spend a few days at Chad’s place. Jensen hasn’t seen or talked to his husband since.

First thing on Monday morning, Jensen went to Jeff’s office to apologize for what went down on Saturday. Thankfully, Jeff was understanding and instead of giving him a piece of his mind, he simply told him to figure things out with his husband.

Three days later, Jensen walks into the office with a large black coffee and a pair of sunglasses on his face. He keeps his head down as he heads to his private office and closes the door behind his back as soon as he’s inside. Slumping down behind his desk, he takes off his sunglasses and sighs. He’s exhausted.

There’s a knock on the door and before he can tell the person to get lost, Chris strides in. He takes one look at Jensen and cringes. “Dude, you look like hell. Are you hungover?”

“No,” Jensen grunts, although it certainly _feels_ like he’s hungover. Wrapping his fingers around his coffee cup, he brings it up to his lips and takes a sip. Maybe it will take care of the headache.

“So, still no word from Jared?” Chris asks, as he sits down across from Jensen in the fancy leather chair.

Jensen scrubs his hands down his face and shakes his head. “No. He’s ignoring all my calls and messages. I texted Chad and he told me that he’s okay. Whatever _“okay”_ means…”

“He’ll come around,” Chris says. “You two are made for each other. The thing you guys are going through is tough, but if there’s anyone who can make it through, it’s you and Jared.”

Jensen swallows thickly and looks down at his hands. He doesn’t want to talk about this right now. He’s beyond tired and work is currently the only thing that can keep his mind off of things.

“I don’t have time for this, Chris. I’ve got a meeting scheduled in twenty minutes and I need to go over the presentation again.”

Chris nods. Leaning forward he catches Jensen’s eyes. “Let’s go have lunch together, okay? _Valentino’s_ , my treat. I’ll ask Dee to come, too.”

“Chris—”

“We don’t have to talk about anything, okay? Just say yes,” Chris tries to convince him. “I’m leaving for Nashville on Friday to spend the holidays with my sister and I want to spend some time with my best friend before I go.”

Too tired to argue, Jensen gives in. “Fine.”

“Great, I’ll make a reservation,” Chris grins and gets up.

As soon as he’s alone in his office again, Jensen closes his eyes and buries his face in his hands. A million thoughts are spinning around in his head and he just can’t seem to make them stop. He wonders how Jared is doing and hopes that he’ll reach out soon.

The rest of the week goes by about as well as can be expected. Jared doesn’t try to get in touch, which Jensen is really struggling with. His mother keeps calling to confirm their plans for New Year’s Eve in Richardson and Jensen keeps dodging her questions. At this point, he doesn’t even know if they’ll drive to San Antonio to celebrate Christmas with Jared’s part of the family. Since Jared doesn’t react to any calls or messages, their plans for the holidays are up in the air.

To add insult to injury, Jensen seems to be coming down with something. His stomach feels off, he’s got a constant headache and just feels unwell in general. It sucks. _Everything_ sucks.

“Jen, hon, you need to eat something,” Danneel says during their break on Friday morning, as he pushes a croissant across the table. It’s one of their coworkers’ birthday and he brought a huge box of pastries for everyone.

Jensen takes one look at the croissant and shakes his head. “I’m good,” he mutters and takes a sip of his coffee. He grimaces when even the taste of that makes his stomach turn.

“You’re anything _but_ good, man,” Chris comments with a disapproving look. “When’s the last time you’ve slept?”

Even though Jensen knows his friends only mean well, their constant bugging and prodding is beginning to annoy him. He _knows_ he needs to eat, he _knows_ he looks like shit and he _knows_ he needs to talk to his husband. He doesn’t need their constant reminders.

“I’ve got stuff to do,” he says and pushes his chair back to go back to work. He hears their protests, but their voices fade to white noise when he rises to his feet. He blinks when the room around him begins to spin and blindly reaches out for anything to hold onto.

Suddenly, there are hands on him and when his vision clears, he’s back in the chair with Chris and Danneel’s worried faces hovering in front of him.

“Christ, Jensen,” Chris growls and cups his neck. “Are you okay?”

Jensen clears his throat. “I’m good. Headrush. Got up too fast,” he mutters and rubs his eyes. There are still some small spots swimming in his vision, but they’re fading.

“You almost _fainted_ , Jen,” Danneel says. She seems pissed, but Jensen knows she’s just worried. Hell, even _Chris_ looks a little freaked out.

“You need to take better care of yourself, man,” Chris adds and squeezes his shoulder.

Jensen doesn’t know what to say to that, because he’s right. He almost passed out in the middle of their break room. People have just stopped gossiping about his fight with Jared at the party and the last thing he wants is to give them more material to talk about.

“It’s probably just all the stress lately,” he shrugs. “I think I’m gonna take the rest of the day off…”

“Good choice,” Danneel nods and pushes a cup of water in his hands. “Drink up. Then I’ll drive you home.”

At home, Jensen strips out of his suit and collapses into bed. Arlo whines and jumps up onto the bed as well to curl up against his side. The dog usually isn’t allowed in bed, but Jensen makes an exception. He’s too tired to shove him down and feeling the soft fur against his skin is kind of comforting.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep for when he hears a bang downstairs and Arlo lets out a loud bark. Startled, Jensen sits up in bed and almost knocks over the lamp on his bedside table.

While Arlo jumps out of bed and disappears down the hallway, Jensen rubs at his eyes and checks his phone. It’s a little past six, which means he’s slept for almost seven hours. More than he’s slept in almost a week.

When he hears a hushed voice downstairs, he swings his legs out of bed and walks downstairs as well. His stomach is in knots because, at this point, he doesn’t know what to expect. It could be Jared coming home, or it could be Chad with instructions to pick up Jared’s belongings.

He’s on the last step of the stairs, when he hears his husband’s warm voice, “Arlo, I’ve missed you, boy,” Jared says, which Arlo responds to with a bark.

Jensen takes a deep breath and rounds the corner. As soon as he’s by the door, Jared looks up from where he’s kneeling on the floor. Arlo is spread out on his back, enjoying belly scratches.

“Jen, hey,” Jared says and slowly rises to his feet. He wipes his hands on his thighs and clears his throat. “Is this a bad time?” he asks uncomfortably.

“It’s your home too, Jared. You don’t need my permission to be here,” Jensen replies, unable to keep all the bite out of his voice. He doesn’t want to fight anymore, but he was hurt and angered by Jared just leaving and ignoring him, and he wants him to know that.

“I know, I just…” Jared licks his lips. “Can we talk?”

“Yeah,” Jensen nods and walks to the living room. He sits down on the couch and is surprised when Arlo curls up at his feet, instead of Jared’s, like he usually does.

“Jen, I’m sorry,” Jared begins, voice shaking. “I shouldn’t have… I was…” his voice breaks off completely and he lets out a heartbreaking sob. “God, I’m so, _so_ sorry,” he cries and hides his face in his trembling hands.

As much as Jensen was hurt by Jared’s actions, Jared is still his husband. He’s the love of his life. Without hesitating, Jensen scoots forward and wraps his arms around his shuddering form. He tucks his husband’s head underneath his chin and just holds on.

“We’ll figure this out, Jare, I promise,” he whispers and buries his face in Jared’s long hair.

They stay like that for what feels like hours. Jensen keeps whispering quiet words of reassurance in his husband’s ear, while Jared lets out everything that must have pent up over the last few weeks.

When he eventually calms down, he lifts his head off Jensen’s shoulder and then winces. “There’s snot on your shirt now.”

Jensen chuckles. “That’s okay.”

Jared wipes his eyes and then really looks at Jensen for the first time. Jensen swallows. He’s missed this. He’s missed his husband. Reaching out, he wipes a wayward tear off his husband’s cheek.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. You didn’t deserve it,” Jared apologizes and reaches out for Jensen’s hand. “After I moved in with Chad, he gave me his sister’s business card. She’s a therapist here in Austin. She’s, uh, she’s really good.”

“You met with her?” Jensen asks, curious.

“Yeah. On Tuesday. I think I’ll keep seeing her.”

Jensen smiles. “I’m glad she is able to help.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jared agrees and squeezes Jensen’s hand. “I need you to know how much I’ve missed you, Jen. God, as soon as I left, I wanted to come back home.”

“I missed you, too,” Jensen replies and blinks back his own tears. He knows that their relationship isn’t perfect and that it will never be, but that’s life. Marriage isn’t easy and it’s not supposed to be. The most important thing is that you fight for it, every day, and that you do it _together_.

“I love you so much,” Jared whispers and leans forward to kiss Jensen.

The touch of their lips is like an explosion. Twisting his fingers in the fabric of Jared’s shirt, Jensen hauls him in closer and deepens the kiss. His heart is soaring and his head spinning in the best way possible. He feels Jared’s hand wander under his shirt and he willingly lifts his arms to let him pull it off.

“Let’s take this upstairs,” Jensen moans against Jared’s lips and pulls them both to their feet.

In a mess of tangled limbs, they stumble up the stairs, leaving behind a trail of discarded clothes.

For the first time since Jared left, Jensen feels like he can breathe again.


	4. Chapter 4

Two days before Christmas, Jensen and Jared pack their suitcases and load them into Jensen’s spacious Chevy, along with all the presents for Jared’s family. It will only take them about an hour and forty-five minutes to get from their house to the Padalecki’s, but Jared has packed an entire cooler with snacks.

“You’re ridiculous,” Jensen chuckles while he puts Arlo in his crate in the trunk. He watches his husband shove the cooler underneath the presents and wonders how he’s planning on grabbing something from it when half their stuff is piled on top of it. He’s not going to say anything, though, because Jared is a _messy_ eater and Jensen just got his car cleaned.

Jensen has just closed the trunk, when a headrush makes everything tilt to the left. He quickly blinks and everything rightens itself. _Great_. Just when he thought he’d gotten over the annoying bug that’s been plaguing him.

“Babe, let’s go!” Jared yells and cranes his neck to look at Jensen from where he’s sitting in the passenger seat. “We gotta leave, otherwise we’ll get stuck in traffic.”

Taking a deep breath, Jensen digs around in his pocket for the car key and gets behind the wheel. He turns on the engine and slowly pulls out onto the street.

The first half of their trip passes quickly. Jared connects his phone to the car and blasts the silliest songs he can find on Spotify. He’s singing along to everything, even if he doesn’t know the words, and Jensen is laughing so hard, he has tears in his eyes. His husband has many talents, but singing is _not_ one of them.

They stop for breakfast along the way and after a breakfast burrito each, they get back on the road.

Jared is fiddling with the radio, when Jensen is hit by a wave of nausea. Swallowing thickly, he tries to get his churning stomach back under control. He’s already thrown up twice yesterday while at work, and once before that on the weekend. He really thought he was over it by now.

He rolls down the window an inch and takes a slow and deep breath. The fresh air seems to calm his upset stomach somewhat and he’s just about to relax, when his insides lurch.

Realizing he can’t prevent the inevitable, he looks for the next possible exit off the highway, which happens to be a rest stop for trucks.

Jared looks up with a frown. “What are you doing?”

Too wary to open his mouth, Jensen just parks the car, flings his door open and jumps out. With one hand clasped over his mouth, he hurries to the restroom and barely makes it into one of the tiny stalls before his breakfast comes back up.

He’s spitting into the toilet bowl and reaches up to flush, when the door to the bathroom squeaks open. He doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is.

“Jen, babe, are you okay?” Jared asks slowly.

Wiping his mouth with a wad of toilet paper, Jensen straightens up. He coughs and tosses the used tissue in the swirling water. The bathroom is gross, but he at least feels better now.

When he steps out of the stall, Jared is standing there, looking worried and confused. “What happened?” he asks.

Jensen gives him a weary smile. “I’m okay, don’t worry,” he replies and heads over to the single sink. He quickly washes his hands and looks up to meet his husband’s concerned eyes in the mirror. “Jare, I’m _fine_ ,” he repeats. “It’s just an upset stomach.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? I could have taken over driving.”

“It’s fine, really. I’ve been feeling nauseous for a couple of days now and it usually passes on its own after a while.”

Jensen knows he shouldn’t have said that when Jared’s eyes widen and that little vain on his forehead appears. “Days? You’ve been sick for _days_ and didn’t say anything?!”

Groaning, Jensen rubs at his forehead. His headache is making a return. “I’m not sick, Jare. It’s just a little queasiness. It’s nothing. Hell, half your school has been sick lately.”

“Yes, and I’m sure _they_ all told their spouses about it.”

“Can we not do this here? This bathroom smells disgusting and I think something in that corner just moved,” Jensen says and wrinkles his nose.

“Fine,” Jared huffs and stomps back outside. The way he’s pouting is almost cute and Jensen can’t help but chuckle.

At the car, while Jensen lets Arlo out to pee, Jared uproots the cooler from the car and pulls out a bottle of water. He hands it over to Jensen, who gladly rinses out his mouth and takes a few sips. He follows that up with a piece of gum just to feel less disgusting.

While Arlo pees on every available tree, Jensen and Jared are leaning against the side of the car. Jared wraps an arm around Jensen’s shoulders and kisses the top of his head. “I want you to tell me when you’re not feeling well.”

Leaning into the hug, Jensen nods. “Okay. I just thought with everything that’s been going on—”

“Whoa, hey,” Jared interrupts and pulls back so he can look Jensen in the face. “I don’t care what’s going on between us. When you don’t feel well, you tell me. Always. Got it?”

“Got it,” Jensen chuckles and kisses his husband.

Jared grins back and then whistles to get Arlo’s attention. “Come on, boy, let’s go see Grandma and Grandpa!”

Arlo’s ears twitch at the familiar names and he begins to wag his tail. He races back to the car and barks happily. Without any fuss, he leaps back into his crate.

“Looks like _someone_ is excited to see your parents,” Jensen laughs and pats Arlo’s head.

Jared snorts. “Why wouldn’t he be? He gets more Christmas presents than the both of us combined.”

“True,” Jensen laughs and walks around the car to the passenger side. Jared hasn’t officially said anything, but Jensen knows that his husband is not going to let him drive.

“We should be there in about an hour,” Jared says as he squints at the GPS. “Do you need anything before we go?”

Jensen shakes his head. “No, I’m good. I’m just gonna close my eyes for a while if you don’t mind.”

“Go ahead,” Jared replies and starts the engine. “Just, do me one favor; if you’re going to puke again, let me know so I can pull over. You know I’m not good with vomit…”

“Jare, you’re _a preschool_ teacher. You’re basically covered in bodily fluids all day long,” Jensen reminds him with a smile.

“That doesn’t mean I _like_ it.” Jared shudders with a disgusted frown, which makes Jensen laugh.

“You’re such a wuss,” he teases.

Jared shots him a glare. “Shut up.”

Still chuckling, Jensen closes his eyes and lets the soft vibration of the car lull him to sleep. He feels Jared’s hand on his thigh and puts his own on top of it, right before he falls asleep.

They arrive at Jared’s parents’ home right on schedule. As on cue, Jensen wakes up from his nap and looks up just in time to see Sharon and Gerald Padalecki come out of their house. They must have heard them pull up.

“How are you feeling?” Jared asks as he parks the car in the driveway. He gives Jensen a onceover, as if trying to figure out how he’s doing.

“I’m good,” Jensen replies and stifles a yawn. His brain is still a little fuzzy from sleeping, but he’ll be awake soon enough. He waves at his in-laws and climbs out of the car. His spine pops when he stretches and he takes a deep breath of fresh air. He smiles when Jared’s parents walk toward them.

“Jared, baby, it’s been too long,” Sharon says as she wraps her youngest son in her arms. “You need to come home more often.”

With a chuckle, Jared kisses her cheek. “Mom, we were here on your birthday last month,” he reminds her.

“Exactly!” she replies and pinches him playfully. She takes a step back to let her husband say hello and smiles at Jensen. “We’ve missed you too, honey,” she says and opens her arms for an embrace.

“Hi Sherri,” Jensen says and squeezes her tightly. He’s always had a great relationship with Jared’s parents, which he knows can’t be taken for granted. He has enough friends who would rather chew off one of their own limbs than sit through dinner with their in-laws. Thankfully, the Padaleckis love Jensen and Jensen’s parents think of Jared as one of their own.

“Jensen, good to see you, son,” Gerald says as he pulls Jensen into a hug.

They catch up for a few minutes and laugh when they hear Arlo begin to scratch at the door in his crate. Jensen goes to the trunk of the car to let him out and before the door is even fully open, Arlo squeezes past Jensen and dashed toward Jared’s parents.

“I think he loves them more than us,” Jensen jokes when he joins his husband again. They watch Sharon and Gerald spoil Arlo with scratches and kisses and Jensen could swear he saw Gerald slip a doggy treat in Arlo’s mouth.

While Jensen and Jared unload the car a little while later with the help of Jared’s father, Sharon goes ahead inside with Arlo hot on her heels.

The house smells delicious and Jensen laughs when he hears his husband’s stomach growl. “We literally _just_ ate,” he chuckles.

“What can I say? I’m a growing boy,” Jared shrugs with a smirk before he heads upstairs to the guestroom to put down their stuff.

“Don’t say that,” Jensen moans as he follows him with his own two bags. “You’re a giant _already_.”

Jared glances over his shoulder and lowers his voice. “You’ve never complained about my size before.”

Blushing a bit, Jensen rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

By the time they’ve unpacked most of their stuff, Sharon has set the table and is about to take a large pot off the stove. “Come, eat!” she calls and wipes her hands on her apron.

Since most of what Jensen had for breakfast has come back up, he’s looking forward to lunch. He’s not a bad cook himself, but no one cooks better than Sharon Padalecki—he just can’t let his own mother hear him say that…

“That looks great,” he praises when Sharon hands him a steaming bowl of homemade tomato soup and garlic knots. He hasn’t really had much of an appetite lately due to everything that has happened, but he’s starving now. He can’t wait to dig in.

While they eat, they make small talk. Gerald asks about work; if Jared ever got that stain out of his shirt after a kid spilled ink all over his favorite sweater and he wants to know who Jensen thinks will win the next football season. Afterwards, Sharon tells them about what’s new on their side of the family. Jared oftentimes jokes that she runs a gossip blog on the side. Just to tease her, he always comes up with silly names for it. Padatales.com is his favorite so far.

After lunch, they spend the rest of the day decorating the house. Most of is already done, but Sharon always leaves a little bit of the work for her children. Jared helps his dad with some of the Christmas lights on the roof, while Jensen puts the finishing touches on the tree.

As soon as it gets dark and chillier, Gerald lights the fireplace and they all get comfortable on the couch in the living room. Sharon hands them hot cocoa and freshly bakes cookies and they wind down by listening to Christmas music and enjoying each other’s company.

A little after ten, they go upstairs to bed. Jensen’s exhausted and can’t wait to crawl into bed, cuddle up with his husband and fall asleep. Tomorrow, they have a trip to a Christmas market planned with Jared’s sister and her husband.

When Jensen steps out of the bathroom in a comfortable pair of sweats and a soft shirt, Jared is already in bed, reading a book. With a smile, he lifts the blanket and motions for Jensen to get in.

Jared pulls him closer and kisses his temple. “That was a nice day, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Jensen murmurs, eyes already drooping. He slings an arm around his husband’s waist and puts his head on his shoulder. “I’m tired…”

“Go to sleep,” Jared says and gives him another kiss.

Jensen doesn’t have to be told twice. He only hears Jared turn the page once before he drifts off.

Jensen wakes up in the middle of the night. Next to him, Jared has rolled over onto his belly and is snoring quietly into his cushion.

The first thing Jensen becomes aware of is the fact that he’s really not feeling well. He’s drenched in sweat, but at the same time shivering like he’s freezing. Maybe he’s not over the bug after all.

Feeling sicker by the second, he slowly gets out of bed and slips out into the dark hallway. He makes his way to the bathroom at the end of the hall and quietly closes the door behind his back. His hands are shaking as he feels around for the light switch. When the light turns on, he flinches. It’s stabbing his eyes like knives.

He stumbles over to the sink and bends down to splash cold water on his face. He has no idea what’s going on with him, but he should probably tell his husband. Otherwise, Jared will punch him in the face for keeping him in the dark _again_.

With the intention of returning to the guestroom, Jensen straightens up. He sucks in a breath when the room tilts to the side and he desperately tries to reach for something to hold onto. Unfortunately, his fingers feel strangely numb and only brush the edge of the sink. He knows he’s going to fall before it happens.

His last thought is, _“Jared’s going to kill me.”_ before everything turns black.

After what feels like only a couple of seconds, Jensen comes to again. When he peels his heavy eyelids open, he’s alarmed to see three worried faces hover above him. He relaxes slightly when he recognizes them as Jared and his parents. He tries to sit up, but three pairs of hands keep him down.

“Take it easy, son,” Gerald mutters. “You might have hit your head.”

Despite feeling strangely exposed and vulnerable on the floor, Jensen stays put. His head is still spinning and he’s not quite sure what happened. He knows that he passed out, but what he doesn’t know is _why_.

“Jen, what happened?” Jared urges and leans in closer. He brushes his hand through Jensen’s hair and purses his lips. He glances at his parents. “Should we call an ambulance?”

Jensen grunts. “No ambulance. I’m fine…”

“Are you kidding me right now,” Jared snaps, causing Jensen to grimace. “You passed out in my parents’ bathroom. You’re _not_ fine, Jensen!”

 _Jensen_ , not Jen.

It looks like Jared wants to say even more, but Gerald puts a calming hand on his shoulder. “Stop arguing, you two. How about a deal? Instead of an ambulance, I’ll drive you guys to the hospital for a checkup.”

“That’s a good idea, isn’t it?” Sharon agrees with her husband and gives them both a look that leaves no room for negotiation.

Jensen sighs. “Fine,” he approves. He paws at his husband’s chest. “Help me up…”

Jared and Gerald each take one of his arms and slowly haul him to his feet. A headrush makes him sway, but he manages to stay on his feet. Thank god for small favors.

Despite Jensen’s very vocal protests, Jared helps him get dressed and doesn’t allow him to do anything more strenuous than lift up his arms. Usually, Jensen would roll his eyes and tease Jared for being a mother hen, but he’s too tired. And maybe a bit worried as well. He hasn’t really been feeling all that great lately and he’s starting to believe that he can’t just chalk this up to a simple case of the flu anymore.

The hospital Gerald takes them to is almost deserted at this time of day. It’s the middle of the night on a Tuesday and the only other people they encounter on their way to check in are a young girl with a cast on her arm and her tired-looking mother.

“I wonder how _that_ happened at three in the morning,” Jensen murmurs as he watches the girl eye her bright pink cast with big, curious eyes.

“Jared fell down the stairs once when he was five. It was the middle of the night and Sherri and I almost had a heart attack,” Gerald explains casually as they wait for the mother and her daughter to finish up at the front desk.

Jensen chuckles and cocks an eyebrow at his husband. “Really? What the hell did you do?”

Blushing, Jared rubs the back of his neck and avoids looking at either one of them. “Nothing…” he mutters.

“I can tell you what he did,” Gerald continues with a grin. “The day before, Jeff slid down the stairs in his hamper and almost knocked down Sherri’s favorite vase, so we obviously confiscated the hamper and hid it. Jared, being the curious little rascal that he was, wanted to try it too. He waited until everyone was asleep, took his own hamper, climbed in it and went down the stairs. He only made it halfway down before the entire thing tipped over and he tumbled down the stairs. His left foot went straight through the drywall.”

At this point, Jared’s face is scarlet and he looks like he wants to be swallowed up by the ground. “Dad,” he whines. “I was _five_.”

His father slaps him on the shoulder and gives him a wink. “Doesn’t mean it’s not still funny.”

Just then, the mother and her kid step aside and the nurse behind the desk smiles kindly. “Hello there, gentlemen. What can we do for you?”

Jensen purses his lips. What is he supposed to tell her? That he’s been feeling sick every now and again and just fainted while trying to go to the bathroom? It’s kind of embarrassing.

Jared clears his throat and takes a step forward. “My husband here passed out about an hour ago. We don’t think he hit his head but he’s been feeling nauseous a lot lately and we just want to make sure he’s alright.”

The nurse nods and grabs a clipboard, which she hands to Jensen. “Alrighty, if you could just fill out this form, someone will be right with you.”

“Thanks,” Jensen says and follows his husband to the waiting room. He quickly fills in the blanks and hands the papers back to the nurse, who’s come to lead them to an examination room. While Jared goes with Jensen, Gerald stays behind to give them some privacy.

Thankfully, since the hospital is mostly empty, a doctor comes by to see them pretty soon. After a quick introduction and some questions, the elderly physician asks Jensen to have a seat on the gurney. Patiently, and with his husband hovering nearby, he endures the examination.

In the end, the doctor draws a bit of blood and tells them to stay put for a little bit, while he sends the blood down to the lab for some quick tests. With the promise to be back in fifteen minutes, the man leaves them alone.

Yawning into his fist, Jensen plops down in one of the chairs and glances at the clock. It’s half past three. Pursing his lips, he thinks about the fact that he could be in a warm and comfortable bed now, but instead he’s stuck in a hospital.

Jared sits down next to him and reaches for his hand. “How are you doing?”

Jensen sighs. “Fine, I guess.”

It’s the truth. He really does feel fine. A little tired maybe, but the nausea is gone, as is the lightheadedness. He’s about to get whiplash from his body’s indecisiveness.

Jared’s hand tightens around his and Jensen looks up to meet his husband’s gaze. Jared swallows. “What if it’s something serious?” he says quietly.

Jensen’s heart clenches and he gives Jared a small smile. He doesn’t even want him to _think_ _about_ something like that. “It’s not going to be anything bad.”

“I can’t lose you, Jen.”

“You’re not going to,” Jensen replies and brings up their joined hands to kiss Jared’s knuckles.

They’re silent for the next ten minutes, both lost in thoughts. Jensen feels Jared’s thumb rub over his pulse point and he takes comfort in the small gesture.

When their doctor returns exactly fourteen minutes after he left, Jared gets to his feet so fast he almost knocks his chair over. “What did the tests say?” he blurts out.

The doctor chuckles. “First of all, I want you both to know that we did not find anything wrong,” he looks at Jensen. “Your blood pressure is a little bit low and you’re slightly dehydrated, but it’s nothing some water, food and rest won’t fix.”

Jensen nudges his husband. “See, I told you I’m not dying.”

“No, you’re definitely not dying,” the physician laughs. “Quite the opposite, actually.”

Jensen glances at Jared, who’s wearing a matching frown. “What’s the opposite of dying?” he asks, confused.

The doctor motions for them both to take a seat again. Opening the folder he’s brought with him, he pulls out a piece of paper, turns it upside down and pushes it toward Jensen and Jared to look at. With a pen, he points at one of the numbers on the sheet. “See this? This is a regular person’s HCG level. And this,” he moves the pen a little to the right. “is _your_ level.”

Jensen frowns. “It’s much higher,” he points out, but that’s about all he understands. He’s not a doctor, which means he has no idea what any of those numbers mean.

“Oh my god.”

Jensen turns his head to look at his husband. Jared’s eyes are wide, impossibly so, and his mouth is hanging open. He obviously knows something Jensen doesn’t.

“What? What is it?” Jensen asks, impatiently looking between Jared and the doctor. “Can someone _please_ tell me what is going on?”

“Jen,” Jared breaths. “You’re pregnant.”

The room is dead silent. Jensen is staring at his husband open-mouthed, unable to form any coherent words. In the end, he just shakes his head and mutters, “No, I’m not.”

The doctor clears his throat. “You most definitely are. I would like to give a call to my colleague for an ultrasound, just to be sure.”

Jensen shakes his head. “No. I can’t… This has to be a mistake.” His head is spinning and he feels like the walls are closing in on him. He doesn’t want this. _They_ don’t want this. It’s not the plan.

With his heart beating wildly inside his chest, Jensen turns to look at his husband. “Jare… Jare, I’m _sorry_ ,” he says and shakes his head. “I didn’t… I don’t—”

“Hey,” Jared says calmly and cups his face. “ _Breathe_.”

The doctor choses that moment to get to his feet. “I’ll give the two of you a moment,” he says and quietly slips out of the room.

Jensen swallows against the dryness in his throat. “Jare, I swear, I had no idea…”

“I know.”

Jensen doesn’t know what to say. He feels like he’s taking something so precious from Jared and he doesn’t know how to make it right or how to react to the situation. It’s all a bit too much and he doesn’t know what to do. He grits his teeth when tears start to burn in his eyes.

“Jen,” Jared says quietly and leans forward. “Look at me.”

When he looks back at his husband, there are tears in Jared’s eyes as well. Jensen’s heart breaks. “I’m sorry…” he whispers.

Despite the tears, Jared smiles. “Don’t apologize,” he says. “Not for this. Not for making our biggest wish come true.”

“But—”

“Look,” Jared interrupts him takes Jensen’s hands into his. “I made having a baby about _me_ , and for that I’m sorry. I always thought that _I_ had to be the one to carry our child because having a big family has always been my dream. But it’s _our_ dream. It doesn’t matter who carries him or her. That baby is ours. Our family.”

“You’re not mad?”

Jared laughs. “No, I’m not mad. I’m happy! Jesus, Jen, we’re having a baby!”

It’s then that the news truly sink in. A baby. They’re going to have _a baby_. Jensen feels like he’s going to be sick. There’s nothing he wants more than a family with Jared, but everything is happening _so fast_ all of a sudden. “I can’t believe this…” he says and looks down at his stomach. “How did that even happen?”

“You know _exactly_ how that happened,” Jared snort.

There’s a knock on the door and their doctor steps back in, accompanied by a blonde woman in scrubs. She smiles at them and says, “Who’s ready for an ultrasound?”

An hour later, Jensen and Jared are finally back at the house. After an ultrasound—which showed that Jensen is about ten weeks along—and some tips and tricks on how to keep the nausea at bay, they were released and allowed to go home. Obviously, because of what has happened, they weren’t able to keep the pregnancy a secret from Jared’s parents. When they announced it to them, Gerald hugged them both and Sharon couldn’t stop crying for almost twenty minutes.

Even though it’s almost sunrise now and Jensen and Jared are back in bed, they’re still awake, just staring in awe at the black and white picture the doctor has printed out for them. The sonogram is grainy and there’s not much to see yet, but, regardless, it’s the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen.

“This is insane,” Jensen muses, unable to tear his eyes away from the photo.

Jared grins. “I can’t believe it.” His hand, which hasn’t moved from Jensen’s belly for more than two minutes since they found out about the baby, is slowly moving in circles. “This tiny human is _inside_ of you.”

“Yeah…” Jensen says and puts his hand on top of his husband’s.

Jared kisses his temple. “This isn’t how we thought it would happen, but it’s perfect.”

Jensen hums in agreement. The day’s events are finally catching up to him and he feels his eyelids droop.

Jared hugs him closer and drops a kiss to his forehead. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Jensen murmurs, right before he falls asleep, held safely in his husband’s strong arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**One Year Later**

Aria’s loud screams are earsplitting as they echo through the house. Even Arlo, who usually doesn’t move further than three feet away from her, tucks his tail between his legs and leaves with a quiet whine. Jensen, who’s desperately trying to keep his daughter’s flailing limbs in place to put a new diaper on her, can’t blame him. Aria’s cries could wake the dead.

“Alright, sweetheart, almost there,” he says and smiles at her. She’s not impressed. She just screws up her face and cries even harder. If there’s one thing she absolutely _hates_ , it’s getting her diaper changed. Jensen and Jared are surprised that none of their neighbors have called the cops yet and accuse them of child abuse…

As soon as the diaper is properly secured around her tiny waist, Jensen scoops her up in his arms and rocks her. “It’s okay, baby girl,” he says and kisses the top of her head. Glancing around the nursery, he cringes when he takes in the mess. He was in the midst of packing her things when she woke up from her nap. They were supposed to leave for Richardson to celebrate New Year’s Eve with Jensen’s family half an hour ago already, but between a sleeping baby and all the stuff that needs to be packed and loaded into the car, they’re struggling to keep up with their schedule.

Jensen is thinking about which task he should tackle first, when Aria burps and spits up all over his clean shirt. “Great,” he groans and moves her to his other arm. As on cue, the baby begins to whimper again.

Stepping over the opened suitcase and all the other crap on the floor, Jensen heads for the master’s bedroom, where he knows Jared is packing their things. He needs him to take Aria for a second so he can get changed and rinse out the dirty clothes.

The bedroom is empty when Jensen enters and he frowns. “Jare?”

The sound of someone getting sick in the bathroom draws Jensen’s attention and he grimaces. “Looks like your tummy isn’t the only upset one,” he tells Aria with a sigh and gently puts her down in the pack-and-play they set up in their room. He takes off her soiled shirt and then his, before he approaches the bathroom and knocks. “Jare, babe, you okay?”

There’s no answer, so Jensen takes his chances and twists the doorknob. The door swings open, revealing Jared crouched in front of the toilet. He looks absolutely miserable.

Jensen quickly wets a washcloth and presses it against the back of his husband’s sweaty neck. “You still feeling sick?”

Jared nods wearily. “It just _won’t stop_ …” he groans.

The holidays are always stressful and it wouldn’t surprise Jensen if Jared is coming down with something. They’ve been driving back and forth between San Antonio and Dallas, eating way too much food and sleeping too little. Maybe that’s Jared’s body’s way of telling him that he needs to slow down a bit.

“You don’t have a fever,” Jensen says after feeling Jared’s forehead. “Does anything hurt?”

“Just my stomach. And my back,” Jared says, before he puts his head back into the toilet bowl and vomits again.

Jensen gets back to his feet and opens their medicine cabinet. They already packed one bottle of Pepto Bismol, but he believes there’s supposed to be a second one in there somewhere.

As he rummages through the contents of the cabinet, some of the things shoved in there fall out. They should probably throw away some of the stuff they don’t use and need anymore.

When he bends down to pick up everything that has fallen out, he freezes mid-reach when he spots an unopened pregnancy test. The last few weeks flash through his mind. He remembers Jared’s moodiness, his exhaustion, the weird smells he complained about that no one else could smell and the constipation he bitched about. Add nausea and cramping to that and everything suddenly makes a whole lot more sense.

Jensen shots to his feet so fast he almost gets a headrush. “What if you’re pregnant?” he blurts out.

Jared lifts his head off the toilet seat and snorts. “Yeah, _right_.”

“I’m serious,” Jensen says. “Think about it for just a minute. Just humor me and take a test.”

Screwing up his face as if he’s bitten into something sour, Jared shakes his head. “I’m not taking a test.”

“Why not?” Jensen pushes.

“Because.”

Jensen holds out the small box, refusing to budge. “That’s not a good enough excuse.”

With a frustrated huff, Jared snatches the test out of his hand. “Fine,” he grunts and shoves at his husband to get him to leave the bathroom. “I’ll take the stupid test, but only because I want you to get off my back so I puke in peace.”

“I’m okay with that,” Jensen chuckles and quickly leaves the room to give his husband some privacy. He doesn’t know why he pushed Jared to take the test. There’s just this gut feeling he can’t explain.

When Jared emerges from the bathroom two minutes later, he puts the test down on the dresser and walks over to the pack-and-play. “Happy now?” he says, as he bends down to pick up Aria.

“Very,” Jensen nods and chuckles when Aria tugs on her father’s long hair. Their daughter _loves_ to yank on it.

Jared sits down on the bed with her and Jensen watches them play. The last couple of months have been the best of his life. Having a baby is hard and tiring, but it’s also the most beautiful and rewarding thing on earth. He wouldn’t trade the dirty diapers, sleepless nights and heaps of smelly laundry for anything.

The pregnancy test beeps a few minutes later and Jensen glances at it. “You wanna take a look at it?”

Jared, who’s bouncing Aria on his leg, shakes his head. “You go ahead,” he says with a laugh, his entire attention on the giggling baby.

Jared has come so far. One year ago, he completely obsessed over each and every pregnancy test. Nowadays, however, he doesn’t feel the need to do that anymore. He’s told Jensen that Aria is more than he could have ever wanted and that he’s happy. It doesn’t matter _how_ she came into their lives, what matters is that she’s _here_.

With a shrug, Jensen picks the test up and looks at the display. He freezes.

“Jared.”

“What?”

“ _Jared_ ,” Jensen repeats and slowly turns the test over so his husband can see it. See the one word that couldn’t be clearer.

_Pregnant_

Jared visibly pales and for a moment Jensen fears his husband is going to pass out. But then he sucks in a sharp breath and licks his lips. “I’m… I’m _pregnant_?” he asks, sounding hesitant and _really_ confused.

“I think you are,” Jensen grins and walks over to where Jared is sitting. Crouching down, he tickles Aria’s belly. “Did you hear that, baby girl? You’re going to be a big sister.”

Jared blinks, still staring at the test. “I’m pregnant.”

Grinning from ear to ear, Jensen leans forward to kiss him. “You’re going to have a baby, Jare. We’re going to be a family of four.” Arlo barks. “ _Five_ , excuse me,” he corrects and scratches behind the dog’s ear.

Jared still looks a little shellshocked, but he’s smiling now. His hand wanders to his stomach and he looks down. “I can’t believe it. After all this time…”

Smiling, Jensen sits down next to him on the bed. Everything he’s feeling in that moment is love. Love for his husband, for his daughter and for the family they’ve created. Their _expanding_ family.

The path hasn’t been an easy one and it will never be, but every day, every _second_ , is worth it. He can’t wait for them to be parents to two perfect little kids.


End file.
